The Letter

            There’s nothing wrong with you. I know that you are a good man. Probably the one that  wrong was me... But one thing I will not forget is.... I’m very grateful that till today you’re entrusting your feeling to me.

When God stop you to come, I’m a little bit happy. I feel that God gave me a little more time. So one day I can welcome you with a better smile.

Not because I don’t like you. But, the past is not so easily left behind. The heart that once I gave you, I’m also not sure if all of them have come back to me or there’s a part that still left in you.

I don’t mean to turn you down. I just want you to come slowly. How can I let you to move so fast  while you can’t convince me, not fully get my heart?

I’ve fallen..... and I haven’t really recovered. I’m sure you can help me get back up if you keep trying and never give up.

That’s why......  I’m sorry.... I’m so sorry....maybe  I was too coward to say it to you directly. Maybe I’m only a child who still too young. Maybe I can’t face my own problems properly. I just want you to understand that I’m still in doubt, and I need a little more time.... Because I also don’t want to hurt you. Because if you’re keep forcing.... Maybe I would be upset, and make you sad...

But, I know, waiting is not an easy thing. Therefore, if one day you feel tired, tell me.... I’ll let you go.  And..... if you had left me,  I would stop trying too. Because now, I’m also giving my effort, to accept you one more time...

I don’t know after this everything is going to be better or worse instead. But of course I wish us the best. It’s just a letter that I wrote with a sense of guilty. Maybe after reading this letter you will feel sad or even angry. But, If you texted me after read this, I would welcome you with a smile. Because I know..... You must have understood....